and · they · made · sure · the · obituraries · showed · pictures · of · smoke · stacks

 it's been a long time since i've been on this thing, years actually i think

i recently read through all of my old journal entries, i'm ashamed to admit i sound incredibly immature even to myself, i guess that sort of thing changes with time however

my life has gone through a multitude of changes since my last post, i no longer live in texas, i live in jersey , i had a girlfriend and then lost a girlfriend, ok no worries there, better off single, well right now at least

i still work for the same company just higher up which is good, progress keeps you happy

i do love the apartment i live in, just not it's particular location 

in any case we will see where this road takes me it's definatly been a unique trip so far

today nina flys in which is rad and amazing and incredible all at the same time, it's about times someone decent has come into my life

also my ceiling fan in my living room is making the most annoying sound ever heard by man, honestly it's that bad, i wouldn't say it if it weren't so

the bronx's new album is fucking incredible and i can't get enough of it, if you don't agree then you're a fucking idiot, case and point

later bitches

i'm so lazy i can't even get up out of this seat right now, i've been here forever it seems like, well maybe just an hour, brand new has been in constant rotation for the last few days now, them and alkaline trio, it's good every once and a while to bring out some old favorites, i have to work tomorrow which is fucking lame, i'll survive, all of my roommates are out of town tonight, bored? yea a litle bit, some kids are coming over soon so it won't be so fucking quite, i recently noticed that when i'm home alone i constantly think that someone is pulling in my driveway, and of course i always feel compelled to go to the window and check, what the fuck am i paranoid about? i then begin to berate myself in my head, telling myself how stupid i am for being so ridiculous and foolish, but then i always go back and do it again, what a lame ass cycle, fuck my job, now that i'm going to kuwait to work i can not give a shit about my current job, it's so freeing when you don't have to worry about impressing any sort of corporate asshole, hoping you'll get promoted again because you could use the cash due to the fact that restaurant industry is the biggest fucking scam to work in, i can't stand it, plus in kuwait i'll actually be doing something within my major for once, that should be nice,

i just wrote alot about nothing

i'm most likely going to be moving to kuwait in the next six to seven months, i'll be there for rough two to three years, after which i'll tour europe for some period of time not yet known

much of this is in the early planing stages so not even i know much of what's going to happen yet, i'll be receiving more detailed information soon

lata
greg

rhapsody fucking owns!

i haven't done anything in quite sometime so i don't really have any reason to update this thing, but i will anyway i suppose

i really hate the army reserve commercials, especially the one with the guy running through the neighborhood, and then all the other army guys come and run with him, fucking lame

i fucking hate puff daddy and the show fat camp

i want a camp for lazy stoners where the activities might include: playing video games, playing fooseball, watching the same movie over and over again, maybe a little ultimate frisbee for some physical activity, i don't know

this fat camp show is the worst show ever, it should be low self esteem i have no social skills camp

now my roommates are knocking over tables with karate kicks so i have to go

Nothing crazy has happened since the day of the flemmy bloody nose

Well except "THE GREAT FIRE OF 2006" during which my deck was completely destroyed by those malicious flames, the general contractor guy came out this morning and said that with all the current damage to my house and deck the bills should total a little over $30,000!!!!!!! not only that but the insurance company so far is only willing to pay out $12,000, if you do the math it's a cool $18,000 short

Awesome

So who knows what they're going to do, i tell you one thing, i'd really like to have these holes in my living room and in my roommates room fixed, it's fucking ridiculous, you can literally crawl from my living room through the wall onto the remains of my back deck, it's all good, it makes getting drinks and what not alot easier, i hate using doors anyway, so over rated

i hate broken noses, bloody flemmy snoyty mucus coming out of my fucking face all the time, i'm like a walking open sore

drinking whiskey getting ready for a movie

think i'm going to go see that hostel movie, it looks pretty good

i like whiskey

my front left head light is out

i've got prince of persia, the new one, it's fucking hot that's for sure

i'm looking forward to tomorrow where i have another day off, should be fun

i don't understand how people can be so stupid

the other day i sat on a park bench watching the sunset over the horizon, it was beautiful and large, the sun seemed to almost swallow up the entire sky, completely amazing, at this exact moment i could feel everything that was happening around me, the breeze moving the trees into some sort of choreographed dance, the heat of the sun and the sound of kids playing ball in the distance, vaguely i could feel the flutter of a fly's wings as it landed softly on my hand, i shook the fly off, stood up and walked home

i fucking rock

king kong sucked a big fat dick

my new layout is pimp

i'm returning to pennsylvania on the 20th of this month

it's going to be monumental

my roommate is jacking off a can of slimfast right now, it's oddly erotic

i can't wait to see king kong kick the t-rex's ass on the fucking island, the preview blew my mind, i can't imagine seeing the whole film

dan i hope you plan on getting drunk

i haven't done this in a while but here's life as i know it

i now live in a town in central texas called bryan which is neighbors with a place called college station which is appropriatly home to texas a&m

official title: corporate trainer

make good money, however, spend it just as fast as i make it, which is fine with me

fucking dogs ate one of my cds bitches

i drink redbull like it's going out of style

the end

i live in college station tx now, i work alot as a manager and it sucks, i make more money though which is tight, but it still sucks because i have no time to spend it, i want more tattoo's but once again no fucking time, i want lots of stuff,

1 a really really big widescreen tv
2 x box 360
3 ps3
4 psp
5 italy
6 gun
7 back piece
8 knife
9 chewing gum that lasts longer
10 godfather box set
11 rocky box set
12 another boxer puppy (way too fucking cute)

more to come eventually

today i took a box filled with my most honorable thoughts
...and i taped it shut

a last ditch effort to bring myself clean of a past that i'm not so sure even existed
these memories and post cards wishing i was there
things typed and written with words left misspelled
the only survivors of a tale left untold

written in blood that was milked from our hearts
they were stuffed away and covered up
almost forgotten
...but not quite soon enough

you see, things left unchecked like to sit and swell
they bury themselves deep as they burrow
scarring what was once in the way
muscle, nor tissue, not even bone
may stand a chance against something so powerful and bold

you can feel it sometimes
as it sits and it swells
growing larger by the minute
...no, wait, by the second
consuming and feeding, and begging for more
it won't stop, no it can't till has what it lusts

and there it sits
swollen
it is all consuming, it is everything
...the only thing
that exists
and nothing else matters
because to you the only thing that is real
is the fact that you will never have what you truly desire
but even though you yearn for an impossible goal
you will never stop hoping, wishing, and in the end even praying
for that one last chance

i haven't left my apartment yet today, i've been spending it on my new futon getting messed up with my roommate sean, i've seen some insane number of dvd's today, i'm still in my clothes i crashed in last night, i'm going to a stripper slumber party tonight for new years eve, how about that, how does that sound, pretty damn good if you ask me, usually when there will be lots of strippers at a party they don't announce it and name the party something with strippers in the title, it does sound like a good time though, that is for sure, i think i'm rambling a little bit here, i can't seem to keep my track of thought very well at this hour, so i'm going to go lay down on my new futon which is comfortable as fuck, damn that thing is mad comfortable, alright then, later

the last two weeks have been spents in some sort of brainless stuper with my roommate tony, cute kid but bad for me, i should say bad for each other, i swear we don't go out looking for this kind of thing, but it always seems to be right there in front of us, ok, so maybe buying beer at like 11:30 at night is kinda looking for it, i'm going to go with the generic "i'm young and naive" excuse, i think that it covers all the bases

meanwhile assacre is playing saturday night, i think i'm going to go check it out, that kids nuts, i finally got my transcripts in the mail, now i can be back in school in the spring, i only missed one semester but it feels like forever, sociology shall be my major this time around, i believe that this will be my third major choice

a turkish royal is a damn good cigarette

the other night i cried and was able to catch the majority of my tears in this finely crafted bottle, so i corked and wrapped it and labeled it with your name, i think i may send it to you someday, i'm not entirely sure, maybe i'll just keep it on my shelf and watch it collect dust, it can be a reminder of the things that i've gained, but more importantly the things that i've lost, or even misplaced at some point, i try to imagine your face moving, forming those expressions that i had grown to love, but it's been so long since i've seen you move i'm afraid that i may have forgotten it, and this scares me half to death sometimes, maybe one of these days it will take me all the way and finish me off, then maybe we'll find some reprieve in this, or at least i will

there are certain times in your life where you feel you've hit a wall in some shape or form

i just recently had a dream, this dream made me feel as if i had hit a wall

not that the dream itself is the bearer of this emotion, just a reminder of it

i'm living in an apt. with a bunch of really cool kids, awesome in fact, i'm having a lot of fun and meeting lots of new people everyday

which is great

something is still missing and it makes me sick when i see others who all ready have it

when i say this i do not mean sick of those people, or even that i hold any sort of angst ridden feelings towards them

i'm jealous of them...